When Things Don’t Go to Plan: Beware the Internal Response

Last week I lost my car key… for about 45 minutes.

Having just run up the beach after an early morning swim, my heart sank as the realisation dawned — my keys were missing. And now I was going to be late meeting a client for a pre-work coffee.

It was interesting to watch where my mind went in that moment — not to practical problem-solving like how I was going to get home or get warm with nothing but a sweaty running top to dry myself.

Instead, my first thought was:

“How unprofessional is my client going to think I am — a business coach who loses his keys at the beach? What a fool.”

That single thought was enough to kickstart a freight train of fear-based thinking.

Not the most helpful of internal responses.

1. Always question: Are my thoughts and assumptions true?

Recognising this pattern of thought is something I’ve worked on personally and coach my clients through regularly. It’s the inner game of business, leadership, and life.

When we face uncertainty or setbacks, fear-based thinking often fills the space between stimulus and response, impacting our ability to evaluate options, make decisions, and take effective action.

The way through is simple — but not easy:
Acknowledge the fear. Question it. Is it true?

2. Alleviate the pressure, then focus on the outcome

Back to my story. Of course, my fear wasn’t true — my client wasn’t going to judge me. And if they did, it certainly wouldn’t be as harsh as my own self-judgement.

My immediate priority was finding my keys.

To get there, I needed a plan. First, handle the immediate pressure and calm the fear. I called my client to let them know I wasn’t going to make coffee. Their time was valuable, and I’d rather give it all back than arrive flustered and half-present. We set a new date, and they wished me luck.

Next step: contingency planning. I called home and arranged for someone to bring me my spare key. That person happened to be my 80-year-old dad, who said it would take at least 20 minutes before he could leave.

Note: I won’t share what my wife said when I called her first… or my son, who insisted we call emergency services.

Now I had about 30 minutes up my sleeve to find the key before inconveniencing anyone else.

3. Others will stay only as long as your goal aligns with theirs

I retraced my steps to the shoreline. Thankfully, I’d separated my key fob from the rest of my keys — but unfortunately, it was black, and so was the seaweed littering the sand.

A reminder that some decisions designed for future success (not losing all your keys) can become problematic when the context changes (a beach full of black seaweed).

A few kind strangers joined the search, but after a few minutes, they moved on. They weren’t as invested as I was in finding the key.

In business and leadership, the same principle holds: people stay engaged only as long as the goal remains meaningful and aligned with their own.

4. Sometimes, stepping back creates the clarity we need to move forward

I paused. My first instinct — to search frantically — wasn’t working. I needed distance and perspective.

So, I stepped back and slowed down. I took in the whole beach: the path leading from the carpark to the shoreline.

I noticed the details — how far up the bank the water reached, where the seaweed ended, and how the footsteps curved into an almost invisible arc in the sand. An arc I must have unconsciously followed walking down and back.

Then came a flash of memory: I’d wrapped the key in my shirt after my swim.

And I’d followed that same arc.

At that moment, I knew where to look.

5. Clarity Emerges in the Pause: Lessons for Business and Leadership

Yes, I found my key. I stopped my dad before he left home, reassured my son that emergency services weren’t required, and shared a good laugh with my wife. My client was thrilled I’d found it.

Driving home with the heater blasting, I reflected on what an unexpectedly valuable morning it had been.

What started as a small moment of frustration revealed lessons that apply directly to leadership, culture, and business performance.

Here’s what I’ve shared with business owners and teams since:

1. Notice your internal response when things don’t go to plan.

2. Acknowledge fear and challenge its validity.

3. Define the outcome you want.

4. Build your plan in prioritised steps — include contingencies.

5. Use the first step(s) to alleviate pressure and manage risk, then the next to focus on solutions.

6. Get to work. Involve others who are genuinely aligned with the outcome.

7. Find opportunities for space. Iterate between doing (micro) and reflecting (macro).

8. Revisit fears, pressure points, and contingencies when early efforts don’t yield results.

9. Refocus on the outcome.

10. Back yourself.

Final Thought

Running a business or leading a team (particularly in engineering, technical and professional services) is rarely linear.

You can have the right strategy, structure, and culture, but it’s your internal response that determines how effectively you adapt when plans unravel.

I share stories like this because business and life are intimately linked. The lessons often show up in everyday moments — like losing your keys on a cold morning.